the physical fades

(no subject)

I beleive that more than anything I hat those people who have it all and dont even realize it thus they do noting but bitch and moan about it and throw big huge scenes about how miserable their lives are when your avergae person would sell their left arm for a life like theirs. I love those who are just happy with what they have even though it may not be much...... mike doesnt know if he can make it to prom.......i got the tickets though.....i dont een really ant to go to prom...it just seems depressing......it gives me anxiety.....yuppp....this blows i wish i could sleep....
can someone gie me a god reason as to why i should go to prom??? (anyone besides kim)
  • Current Music
    josh canova
the physical fades

(no subject)

everybodys talkin about blowing up the neighborhood and all i ever wanted was to get away...... btw is it cool if i hold your hand???


It seems like its been such a long long week/weekend. Wensday was wonderful i got to see mike and i didnt have to wait for my ride I had Rick there to keep me company and me and this kid named Raul shared a strawberry thingy from starbucks that we made rick go get for us...yummy...i was pissed that i couldnt go to the unseen show though...and rick is a lil prick for not calling me during the show like he said he would.
Friday night got my cases of beer.....dropped kim off at dave's..... worked on Kirby's car with him so now the ac works and he has brakes....i felt like i had to gojo my whole damn body after the experience though. Then we all pilled in to my car and chris's truck and went out to the woods and went four wheeling.... kirby took good care of me all night and neerly beat the shit out of the same guy jimmy did cause he said something about me...i think he called me a freak *lol*.
Saturday...woke up with mike calling me and getting mad at me.....hanging up on me and yelling it just freaked me out....so i got stressed and everyone and their mom kept calling me so it stressed me out more i was so tweaked i drove to sunset and drove in circles screaming because i couldnt get parking and all i wnted was a fucking cup of coffe....i got hyped up on caffein and couldnt stop chain smoking it was sick. Then Paul kept calling and Mike's dad and Big Jim (wtf?). Then i get kim and she informs me dave's dad is in the hospital and that was the last straw my body just went into shock and became sore all over, i felt light headed i couldnt eat/sleep/drink anything it sucked. but we got food and cake and stuff and drove down to dave's and made him and his sister dinner and had a mini party with the people who were there and got some shit from Ruby's.
Sunday....today.....did nothing!!! went to pay paul.....drove to daves and chilled there for a while with kim....went to target and got them food for tonight....drove to sunset and met mike's dad who gave me 20$ in spending money and the 110$ for prom tickets *woohoo* got coffee spoke with the manager at starbucks about a job he seems nice. drove kim home and drove myself home and now i am gonna relax and have a lovely evening :D ta friggin ta!
(ha! mike's dad is a quaker by the way who would have thought.)
  • Current Music
    Hate every beautiful day
the physical fades

(no subject)

awsome night went down to the woods with the boys (kirby, mike, greg, cris, and victora...not a guy but close enough). goos stuff went four wheeling sat by the fire had a few beers i just miss mike and hope that kim got home ok...i felt awful about that.

wensday was great it was mike's bothday (he makes me feel so loved) before that i got to see jon and rick..an met a very nice person named Raul wom i shard a srtrawberry drink from starbcks with compliments of rick of corse.....

who wants ice cream cake!!!!!
  • Current Music
    super super super
the physical fades

(no subject)

this is so surreal...i havent been able to stop crying...why is this happening......i just dont understand... i wish mike was here god i miss my mike....
  • Current Music
    sonny
the physical fades

(no subject)

det här händer inte snälla sej att det här inte händer.....varför varför varför......jag har väntat så himla länge på dej och nu ...för vadå....det betyde inget....jag hattar det här men jag visste ju att det skulle hända.
  • Current Music
    this time imperfect
the physical fades

(no subject)

So my punishment was having the car takn away from me for one whole day...oh no whatever shall i do. Went out with kim bought shit to make my i heart mike shirt and made another one with little green hearts that says robot its cute hush. Went to starbucks and did the interview with Sarah and Karen, they seem really sweet. I find out its a small small world lol turns out had met them both before without knowing it...freaky. either way i got to see jon to so that was nice...couldnt stay at katie's house , sorry hun, and i feel tired i think i'l try sleeping now....so yea...
men vad fan......
the physical fades

(no subject)

heh, all i can really do is smack myself in the forhead and question...wtf was i thinking??
just like a bathing suit my ass...i can only imagine hat a class act jimmy sees me as now.
  • Current Music
    Afasi och Filthy
the physical fades

So much for easy

You know...if you would have asked me 5 years ago if I ever thought I would be were I am now or going through the things I am now I would have laughed at you and said hell no. Fuck five years ago things were kind of ok actually, i was a straight a kid with their priorities straight, i suppose i still have my priorities straight but damn i never thought it would be this hard to keep them that way. Never did i think i would be going to meeting, or riding in a car with a random doctor who is offering to put me into a support group. I never thought I would be driving to visit my boyfriend on Wensdays in rehab. I never thought that i would see him for at least 61 days and that i cant talk to him only write. I visited him for the first time at the actual program yesterday. Its very hard to sit there and feel so powerless and confused and worried all at the same time....The people seem nice enough but i know mike is sad, they had to pull him away from me yesterday....i couldnt help but cry....i just hate the whole situation and i know he has the strength to turn his life around...if only he actually does it for once.
  • Current Music
    Alice in Chains, Nutshell
the physical fades

(no subject)

I dont want you to leave me for so long,
for you i would wait forever
forever just seems so hard to do
all things require sacrifice
especially when it involves love......
It makes me sad to see my hopes crushed
i know what your doing is for the best
for the both of us
you wont go to prom with me
you'll miss my graduation
i wont see you before i leave to sweden
things just seem to fall apart
despite the love i feel for you
despite how much you care
it just seems so....hard
  • Current Music
    beautiful letdown
the physical fades

(no subject)

Hes so damn cute!....ok so i woke up there was no one home.....i got dressed chilled on the coach and my brother gets home.....with John. Oh snap i swear he is so cute and really really funny....granted i am in love with my wonderful mike..but aw hes so cute and wont stop hitting on me joking about he wanted to make sure i was legal and me retorting with of coarse, his reply of oh great! not that the thought crossed either of our minds though right?....definetlly right...i just kinda wish mike would wake up and come get me.... apparentlly john is sleeping here tonight....eep is all i have to say to that. makes me really want to say i'm sleeping at Karen's house but i dont want to get yelled at.
remind myself why John sucksCollapse )
  • Current Music
    Ok Go, Dont ask